Good bye 2011

Well This last year was not so good to my little ones bodies! there were so many injuries and ER visits it was not funny....it started with Keyton breking his cheek and dislocating his nose, then he broke his elbow, then his toe, bit through his lip bad and has a bad scare, bad allergic reaction that sent us to the er, dehydration that had him screaming in pain, and the everyday bumps and falls that he has. Paisley had her fair share too she dislocated her nose, spranged her neck, gashed her eye, and then gashed her head tonight. Brezlyn had a few...dislocated her toe bad, smashed two fingers to where I thought she broke them, and almost went through her lip. The the big fun of daddy cutting his finger good and needing 5 stitches and a splint for a week. All in all it was a very stressfull and crazy year. I am not sad to say good bye to 2011 but I did get good things for the year....Bee walked a few days into it! Had the joy of spending time with family and friends. Watched my kids grow up and amaze me all the time. Then the big news we would be welcoming another little baby into our family. We tryed almost all of 2011 to get this news and are so excited. I am hoping 2012 is better on the er/body part but cant wait to have the joy of having the kids grow and then welcoming a baby into the world around June 16th. Cant wait to see what God has for us and the joys to come. Pray we have a better year too! I am happy that I kept my new years resalution from last year and this year it is to be better about keeping my cool with the kids. Hope I do as well with this one as last year!

Good Bye 2011 and welcome to 2012!!!

Chritmas Keeps coming...

We had chritmas with my moms side of the family and my dads side of the family on Christmas eve. It was fun and the kids loved getting to eat a few things they dont normaly get and playing with all the new toys. On my moms side we do secrate santa game, Keyton saw one of the presents was a Pirate Nutcracker and wanted it so bad but we had already had our turn. My sweet Uncle David after it was over walked his Nutcracker over to Keyton and gave it to him. He was so excited and I really think out of the few things he got over there that was by far his fav. We took a little nap before heading over for my Dads side of the family. On this side there are more kids ranging from 14 to 2 (bee) so it was so much more fun to watch the kids open and get so excited. Keyton and his only true boy cousin (for now) both got these remote control cars and they had so much fun playing with them. You could tell they where both so happy to have a boy to play with in this sea of Girls. After that we came home to get ready for santa...put out the cookies and celery for the raindeer. Keyton made sure to remind daddy to open the fireplace doors so that Santa can get in. Last year he was so worried that Santa would not be able to get in if they where closed and yes he remembered again this year. I guess this will be a tradition. Mommy and Daddy stayed up way to late getting things set up but it was because I was the only one able to put the train table and carage together. We sat up vaccumed and hide the boxes that should not have been in the house. We went to bed to have Paisley wake everyone up at 7:45 to open pres. The kids jumped on Tryon til he got up and we let the fun begain. They were all excited to see what santa had brought! We did stockings and unwraped the few things from santa and then had Hot chocolate before finishing with mommy and daddys pres. we got them. We had time to take everything out of boxes before getting ready to head to Nonnies and Poppys house for Lunch and christmas with them. We had a wonderful lunch and fun opening pres. and playing with the few things they got. Then Poppy tells them that when the back yard is picked up all the way from the big tree coming down they will get a trampolen! So exciting and hope the weather gets better so we can get back there to get it done and move things around to make room! Should be fun I loved mine as a kid and I know they will too. Now we just have Christmas with Tryon's parents when they come in sometime after the new year. For now I am getting things ready for Little Bee's 2nd birthday party! Wow I cant believe she is already 2! Time has gone so fast for her!

Start to Our many Christmases...

Tonight was the start to the christmas fun in our family. My God parents and there family came in and we had our small family christmas. Loved seeing them and so wish it was not so short or so few times a year but love the time we do see each other. The kids loved there gifts and just loved seeing the Baby Brandon. Keyton got to love on his Aunt Brittany (there youngest daughter) and Paisley got to do ballet with Aunt Jen ( the oldest with the baby). It was so much fun! Brezlyn cracked everyone up going around in her funny voice saying Nutcracker~! No one could stop laughing at her when she did. Got to talk and just enjoy the night with them. I love them so much and they are always a part of my family. I also got to play with the baby and see the kids play with him. He is so cute and funny...loved his fun little laugh. Keyton kissed on him at the end but he was mostly in Brits lap. One christmas down and 5 more to go!

Update on family

First off my aunt Cissy had her pet scan and found that the cancer has not spread!! Great news...She had the mastectomy on Friday and is doing well. They will start chemo and radiation sometime in the near future and have another reconstructive surgery. All seems well but the radiation will be hard and just keep her in your thoughts. But praise God she is ok now!

That is really the only new news...Deon had his test but will not know til some time next week where they will go from here. My cousin's little girl heads to Lubbock on the 5th and we will know more then and the other I dont know right now.

Thanks for all the prayers and keep them coming...I am so happy for some good news and hope the rest will be the same.

Coming...

It is just about 12 days til one of the hardest day of my life. The day we had to say good bye to baby "Brenden" (as the kids have named it so that in heaven one day we can find it.) I know it had to be to have our little Bee but it was one of the hardest thing I have ever had to do. It will be 3 years and it only seems like yesterday I was wishing for the hole to be filled. I did not handle the loss very well and ended up lossing some of the memories I should have been making with my two oldest kids. I hate this more than anything and Tryon even told me that I took care of the kids, made sure they where safe and the I was empty. I hate this too! Paisley still remebers this and does not like to see me zoned out or cry at all. I made it after a long road of being mad at God and so confused at why at 10 1/2 weeks I would loss a baby that the whole family was looking forward to having in our home. I know now it was because that baby was not ment to be in our family and that God had Brezlyn in mind for us. She is a perfect fit and a joy but it was hard to see this for a while. It took Brezlyn becoming sick for me to realize this and to forgive God for the loss of Brenden. I now know one day we will see this little baby who we all loved so much and that God's angels are taking care of him/her for us. Keyton really helped me in this area...He always talks about how one day when he gets to heaven that he is going to hold him (because he is sure it was a boy) and have him show him around heaven. He also talks about how we always have him and he is just our baby in Gods hands looking down on us. Wow what comes out of the mouths of babies!! He does not remeber the dark time in our lives but does know that there was another one before Bee. I dont think I could be in this place of peace with out him, my little now 3 year old who knows that God loves him and loves his brother in heaven. Him naming the baby and keeping him close has helped. Also his love for the lord that helped pull me back. It did hurt at first to hear the kids talk about the baby all the time but over time it is a confort to me that no one will forget him/her. Paisley now just looks after me...when I am sad she lays with me or checks on me all the time. I hate that she has to do this because how much she did for Keyton and me while I was so sad. She also is worried about this baby...one day while in the bath room she asked me "Is there blood?" I said no i am fine and she said " Oh good I know blood means no more baby" Made me sad that she remebers this and the she carries it like that. On the other hand her love and consern for everyone helped me and I know she will be a wonderful lady one day with such a big heart. She also loves her sister so much because she knows how fast things can change with a baby and how much of a wonderful thing it is to bring one home. I love my kids all 4 of them and the one on the way. I miss the one we lost but would not change it to not have Bee. She is a blessing in more ways than one. She brought me back from a dark place and she pulled me back to God. I would not be the person I am now with out all of my kids. They all had a part in my healing and they all have a part in my life that would be so different if they where not here. God knows what he is doing and I trust him but sometimes it is hard to wait to see what he has for us. I hope this year is a remeberance of the one we lost rather than a dark day like it has the past few years. I hate that it is so close to Christmas and hope to never miss another Christmas in my kids lives again.

On of those fUN days...

Yes it is one of those days in my house....Keyton will not leave anyone be and is always having to hold my hand no matter what I am doing. I know I should love his attention but it is hard to get things done or seem like i am my own. Maybe it is harder now with sharing my body again but I could scream at him to leave me alone. He is also picking on everyone...hitting, kicking, and just laying on everyone. Even my mom said he got on her nevers for the short run I made to wally world. Brezlyn thinks she can just push, take toys and scream to get her way. She has ended up in her bed a few times today. Paisley is not being to bad just having to be little mommy to everyone which get them going too. Dont get me wrong I love my babies but today is one of the trying days that make you want to scream things you dont mean. I know tomorrow will be better but boy we need to have a day out of this house soon before someone kills someone else! LOL I know they love eachother and me. I also know i love them more than anything in this world. I know being a stay at home mom is my calling and the only thing i have ever wanted to be in life. I know everyday is not this way and that Christmas coming has everyone on edge for it to be here. I am ready to because I love Christmas just lord let me make it through these days in a good way not a horrable way.

Screams that pierce your heart....

Tonight was a scary night for Tryon and I...

I was told at Keyton's school when I picked him up that when he woke up from nap that he said his tummy was really hurting. They watched him and he went off to play fine, but then told me that I packed him to much food for lunch. If you know Keyton that is strange because he is always hngery and eats everything we give him. Then he was fine at home so I did not think of it again til dinner. I gave him his food and once the food hit his stomic he started saying his tmmy hurts bad. I told him to drink some water and that is when the screams started. They where not bad at first so I told him to come lay down with me and just rest for a while. after about 10mins his screams started to become so loud and full of pain. The kind that could make blood curdle! I was getting really worried and rubbing his back as he layed in a ball on the couch. Tryon got home a few mins later and we tried everything. Tryon got him to drink a glass of juice but the screams kept coming and closer together too...we loaded everyone up to take him in to the ER. Scared it was his appendix or something crazy like that. Turns out it was just that he was extreamly dehydrated and had a huge gas bubble that made his tummy extended. After 3 glasses of water and another glass of juice he is becoming more like himself and has pottied good 6 times. We found out that he has not been drinking anything at school or while at my moms. 2 days with no water or anything...no good at all. We are watching him and really shaken up by this but glad he is fine now. I never want to hear those screams ever come out of one my kids ever agian. It took all I had not to break down and cry right there with him.

Needing my prayer worriors!

At this normally joyful time of year a few of my family member have gotten bad news and need our prayers to have healing in their lives.

First off is my Aunt/God mother Cissy...this time last year she had a lump (cancer) in her brest and removed it fine. This year they have found another one in the other brest and it is cancer again. She is starting ratiation and cemo this week. We are praying it will all go away this time and that it has not spread. Hoping for the best so that she will be fine to watch her grandson grow and any other grands that come into their family.

Next is my uncle/God father Deon...yes her hubby. He has some blood disorder right now and his body is not replishing the blood that you loses every day. More than likely he will need surgery to help him do this. We will know more on the 14th after his apt. Hoping that they can fix it so that he will be fine also

Then my Cousin she is 6 or 7 and has acute sickle cell leukemia... they where hoping to start her radiation this next month but her cell levels have dropped yet again too low. She is being sent to lubbock after the holidays to see what is going on with that. Hoping that they can do something soon so that it can go into remishen soon. This was one of the things they thought Brezlyn had and it hurts to see them going through what we could have been doing this whole time.

then another one of my cousins little 3 month old is having blood problems and is under going test to see what is going on. Reminds me of our own story with Bee. They have no idea what is going on but are sending her to lubbock too wich usally mean so kind of cancer. I am praying not.

There is so many things going on in my family right now and it is hard to be so cheerful at Christmas when so many are hurting and scared. I know first hand the power of prayer and know if its Gods will and we ask it will be. Please dont forget them this time of year. Thanks

Potty here we come!

Brezlyn is starting to want to Potty in the potty now...She goes at least once a day but really likes it when Paisley takes her instead of me. When we sing her the potty song I made up for Paisley and just used for all 3 now, She dances and sings with us. I know if I pushed her more she would be doing better but after just getting Keyton done and finally not have the miss haps with him. I am just not ready to start again. I do have a goal of having her in panties by May before the baby gets here though so maybe after the holidays we will really start pushing it a little more. I am very happy she is ready on her own unlike big bro and that she is ready to be a big girl. Thankfully I know there is no hurry to get her there and there is no need in stressing with it like I did with Keyton. She will be just like Paisley when she is there it will be one day she just does it and thats that. Will be nice to still only have to buy one set of diapers too!

Brezlyn is also learning to count to ten and other than missing 4 she is doing it!!! I am so happy she is and she has almost got her colors but still likes to say everything is yellow. She is just not able to sit still to really learn and I am thinking of starting her on tus. and thurs. when the big kids are not here so that maybe we can catch up on what she needs to know by now.