Oh my...

Well hormons have really taken over me as....I cry over everything. I sent the kids all a video of Santa that we started doing last year. He talks to them, uses their names and looks at their file which has pics of them in it. It is really neat. Well even before I showed them the night before I watched to make sure it was all right and looked good. I cryed at all of them. Then while they watched I cryed at the faces they made and how excited they got over it all. Another time I cryed when we where watching a Christmas show and the main person said..."i don't even know what Christmas means" Paisley turns to me and said "Its Jesus' birthday and thats why we give because of him" WOW I was happy but the tears came. There are so many other times like getting them dressed for pics and how cute they all look. I cant keep the tears from coming at all.

I am also so easy to get mad right now and I feel so sorry for my family. I try not to but I cant help it some days. I hate this part and hope it stops soon because I think Tryon is going to kill me LOL.
He has made fun of me lovingly when I cry and when I am mad at nothing at all. He makes me laugh at how silly I seem now and all.

The other thing this has brought up is the sadness I feel when I think of this being our last Baby. I know my body is giving me signs this time that I should not do this again. With my back problems and other things that go along with that. Also the fear I have with lossing it. I thought it would be better after having a perfectly fine baby after but it is no different than with Brezlyn. I find myself scared ever min of the day and alway checking for blood. I know that sounds silly but it is on my mind no matter how hard I try not to think that way. Then I can see it is on Paisley's mind too...the other day in the bathroom I just checked out of habbit and she asked " Mommy is there blood?" I said "no baby not at all" she said " Oh good the baby is fine". Makes me sad to see she is already like that and i hope she forgets before she ever goes down this road. Anyways this fear is why I really don't want to do this again, It is just to hard to be scared all the time and the stress is wearing on me big time. The good news is it will be a little less in a few weeks when the first trimester is over!! Yeah i will be glad then it will be almost gone when I feel those good hard kicks and turns. I am feeling movement so that makes me happy and waiting til it is more constent and harder!!! I will miss the feeling of being pregnant and bringing home a new baby to the faimly but I hope one day our money situation will change and maybe we could adopt 2 more kids if God wills that. I would love to help a child out the way my Birth mother did me. I know this is the right choice for our family but it is hard for me to say that it is over when my heart could go on forever. LOL

I am sure it did not help that I wanted to do something to remeber baby Brenden as the Kids named the one that is in heaven. After lossing it my aunt gave me this angel holding a little baby. I have always looked at it as my baby being looked after by God and his angels. I also have the sonogram of this baby and have had them locked away...This year as we finished putting things on the walls with them finally being finished. I found my Angel and the sonogram photos. I framed the best one of my little one and put it in my room with the angel next to it. It is my Baby Brenden and will always be part of this family. I know it sounds a little silly but it was a good step for me. I have come to turms with the loss and now moving on with him/her in the family as well.

Then there is the excitement of June and I just cant wait to hold this baby and birng it home to be with its family. The kids pray every night for the baby to grow big and strong, which just melts my heart ever time. They kiss my belly and Brezlyn loves to poke my belly button and talk to it there. She also says there are two babies but we will see soon enough lOL. Paisley finally said today that she wants a brother for Keyton!!! Wow I was shocked because she has always just wanted sisters! I cant wait to hold it but I am still not looking forward to never doing all of this again.

Sorry for the rambling but there has been so many thing on my mind with this baby. I had to get some of them out before they swollowed me LOL.

Bring on Christmas!!!

Ok so we are not starting with the Christmas post just yet but this was too cute not to put up. Keyton had a really bad cough last week and need the Humidifier in his room. Brezlyn has loved it one every night to sleep with. So when I moved it into Keyton and Paisley's Room she woke up mad and scared. I let her sleep with Paisley the first night to ease her into sleeping with out it.

Cute pic of the girls in the same bed. She did good and stayed in bed with out falling out.

The only thing is she woke both kids up right at 7:30am...did not like that at all.

Now on to the Christmas side of it all. We had a wonderful Thanksgiving with My Mom's side of the family. We even had some of the family from Alabama here for the holiday and it was wonderful to see them also.
We made Keyton some Gluten free Banana bread, sweet potato casserole, an apple pie for me, and Tryon's fav. jalapeno poppers. So glad we made the first two for mister Keyton because there was not much he could have.
We did miss seeing Tryon's family this year and we where sad we could not make it up to see everyone with it being their turn for Thanksgiving. Tryon's schedule and money did not let us make the trip this year. We really wanted to see the other two girls in the family who are also Prego like us. Katie and Brazos are due in April, Tahj and Glenn (newly weds) are due in May or maybe June, and we are due in June maybe May. Would have been fun all of us together with baby bumps!!

Keyton wanted to wear his Christmas shirt a few days before Thanksgiving

And everyone has been so excited for the Christmas season.

Paisley and Brezlyn looking cute in there all matching outfits!!!

Love this one and they are so sweet together.

Now on to start the Christmas season...We decided to put up the Tree the day before Thanksgiving on Tryon's day off. We had gotten a new pre lit tree at a garage sale this summer for only $25 and we where all excited to see the new tree up and to make sure it worked. It did thankfully and the fun of finding all the ornaments, places for all the new dec. we got after season last year, and having fun with Christmas music playing. This year was Brezlyn's first year to dec. the tree and she was so so excited about it. To the point she has gotten in trouble now for taking things off and finding new places for it. She has now stopped that and loves everything Christmas.

Paisley organizing the ornaments into who gets what LOL.

She thinks she is the boss now over her younger sibs.

Keyton putting on a snowflake!! He had so much fun this year and I love that

He likes to find just that perfect place for it. So cute
Little Bee having a blast getting to be one of the big kids
She did good better than I thought she would being so young.

Daddy Helping Brezlyn reach the top to hang so stuff.

Keyton Loved standing on the step stool to hang them just a little higher

Bee loved to put the character ones on like Elmo, frosty and more

Paisley with the ornament she picked out last year. Daddy

Helping her get it in just the right spot

Tryon had to do most the top of the tree this year. I could not reach...Oh yeah did

I say it is a Nine ft tree this year!!!!

Love it and love how much Christmas it is!!!

Tryon putting on the topper that yes touches the celling LOL.

Paisley found our Santa hat and was being cute running around in it!

Now time for out door lights!!! Tryon did most of the work while we played outside.

I did help with the bushes and the trees but that's about it!

Our tree up and looking good that night after we where done for the day.

Our first year in a long time to have outside lights!!!

The bushes in the front cover the whole side of the house and

flash so that is why it looks like there is not that many of them.

Love the house all lit up!

Tryon and I did hit the Black Friday sales this year!!! Now we are done with shopping all around for Christmas. I just have to finish making the things I was making for family and maybe pick up a few outfits for Brezlyn but other than that we are done!!! Love being done with shopping this early so that the season is not tainted with stress of crowds and looking for pres. We are so excited for Christmas to come and the kids are already asking how long til the day. Think I am taking a friends Idea and wrapping up a Christmas books and letting them open one each night to read til Christmas!!! Seems like a good way to show them how many days left and a fun tradition in the making. Of course we will do a Christmas craft to add to the decorations we have and more things to do before Christmas morning.

We are all doing well and the kids are so sweet about the baby on the way. They kiss my belly all the time and love on it...Oh yes I am already showing bad!!! I look like I did at 4 months with Paisley!! I am shocked and people are already asking all the time when I am due...then comes are u sure its not TWINS! No I am not sure it is not twins and would love that if God blessed us with Two at once. I have always wanted to have twins and always wanted them to be my last babies of the bunch. Yes sadly this will be the last preg. for us. It hard to say this is coming to an end but I really dont' think my body, money could handle another round. Also I always wanted the one above them to be over 2 and Bee will be 2 1/2 when the baby comes so everything would be perfect for that but I am not getting my hopes up. I am more tired than I ever remember being with the other 3 but my first trimester is almost over so I should get some energy back soon. I do feel prego and already fill those pains of growth you have! I am ready to have a sonogram but that will be a few more weeks before we get one of those...then I will know LOL.

BIG 5!!!

Wow I never thought this day would come!!! My first baby turned 5 on the 2nd of Nov. Crazy to think that she is that old now, seems just yesterday I brought her home form the hospital. :) She loves to get her and her sibs their cereal in the am and help out in any way. She is a joy and also loves life, animals and God. She is a smart little girl who can count to 100, starting to read, spell, add, and working on telling time.
She had a Fancy Nancy party....On her true birthday we let her open a pres as we always do and it was the matching Fancy Nancy dress to her doll. She was so so happy to wear it to the party which was a dress up party too. We had a wonderful time and all the kids looked so cute and seemed to have a blast.

One thing that she really wanted to do to make it fancy was the colored hair spray so that is what we did everyone picked their colors and if they wanted glitter and we sprayed their hair!

Paisley's pretty hair

Her Best little friend Sloan

Keyton's crazy hair

Cooper

Little Bee LOL

We also did tattoos...

Paisley and Sloan showing them off. They were so

Excited because they had the same shoes on that day!!! LOL

Pres. time...She got so many good things and loved them all

Another Fancy Nancy dress!!!

Pizza time..She wanted a pizza party so daddy left to get

pizza for everyone!!! I made a special one for Keyton so he would not feel left out!!

The Cake...tried to make it look like a crown LOL

Cupcake and ice cream time.

After the party she laid in the floor with daddy to play with her new fav. thing

a learning lap top from Nanna!!!

After nap time we went to get the mail and she had two more pres.

First from Memaw and Pepaw (great grands) in abilene!! So sweet one of her

fav. books from their house.

Then from Aunt Cissy and Uncle Deon!!

She loves it and cant wait to make things to wear with the other set she got from the party!!

It is amazing to me the person she has become and I can't wait to see what the year brings for her. Her love for learning is so wonderful and her love for God as well. She is going to be an amazing lady one day and I am so glad I get the chance to watch her grow!!! We love you baby girl and so glad you had a wonderful day!!!

Kids...

The kids could not wait to tell everyone....Their little shirts say it all!!!

Could you read them?

Paisleys says "Big sister (x out) Biggest Sister"

Ketyon's says " Big Brother...a Boy Please"

Brezlyn's says "Little sister (x out) Big Sister"

Yes that is right We did it again....We are expecting #4 to make its appearance around

June 18th 2012!!!

We are all excited and things are going well. This is something we have been trying for for about a year now. I found out Last week and we have been watching my levels just to make sure things where going good. SO far so good and we could not wait to let everyone know!

We told the families and everyone is so excited and ready to meet this little one.

We are just thankful that God has listened to our cry for another child and has given us this chance to have another baby in our house. If you ask Keyton if he wants a boy or girl he yells "NO MORE SISTERS NO MORE GIRLS" So I am thinking he wants a brother LOL. Poor guy needs a boy but we will take what ever God gives us.

Pray we have a good pregnancy and that we bring home a healthy little baby. We will keep everyone posted on things as we go and we should know what it is in Feb. So exciting cant wait to add another one to our family.

Old testamony

The last few weeks have really brought this to my mind...With the prayers we have been sending out as a family for this sweet little boy who was clinging for his life and has been healed by Gods hands. Also a family member going through what we where told we would be going through with our own child. ...Here is my testimony of Gods healing hand and the power of prayer...

January 12, 2010....On of a the best days of my life!! The day Brezlyn Keylee Condra (our 3rd) was born. After having a miscarriage three months before getting pregnant with her this was a big deal to our family. The answer to our prayers to have her come home! Here we are at 4 am before heading up to the hospital to start check in for being endued to have her 2 weeks early because she was already so big. Thankfully....

Happy Mommy ready to hold that sweet baby girl.

After getting settled in and water broken at 10...we where on our way to having her. We sat and watched movies together....At 10:30...My epidural crawled way to high and was turned off...then at 1:20 they turned off my patosin because my doc. went into surgery and they wanted me to wait for her...well Little Bee had other plans and came into the world at 1:58 pm ...Yes even with out the drugs I jumped from a 6 to a 10 in just a short time. There she was the little baby we prayed so hard to keep and bring home!!! Tears filled our eyes as if she was the first baby ever! She was amazing!!!

Brezlyn Keylee 8lbs 2oz and 21 1/2in...all healthy!

She was perfect and we spent the next day enjoying her and ready to take her home to be with Big Sis and Big Bro. Life was whole and wonderful!

Little Bee all ready to go home.

Sibs. loving on their new sis!!! My 3 monkeys

Life was good and we enjoyed every moment in our new little family. All 5 of us learning to be a family again and all the joys of adding in another one to our routine. She was a happy, sleepy baby who just went with the flow of things. Slept all the time and we treasured the time she was awake.

All 3 enjoying life!

When she was almost a month old things started to worry me. He umbilical cord was not coming off or even loose at all. It looked just as it did the day we left the hospital. Even with cleaning it like I was told to do. I finally Called the Doctor to see if this was normal when she was 1 month old and the cord was not loose at all. They told me to come in and have it burned to see if it would help.

Brezlyn at 1 month with the cord still there!!

We all hated that thing

Well we went in and the doctor saw that I was not being a worried New Mommy. Yes it had not changed at all in 4 weeks. He burned it around the edges and Yes my poor baby screamed and screamed. He told me to come back in a week if it had not changed. Well yes we went back and again they burned it and told me the same thing....Now she is 6 weeks old and He does the same seeing no change from the last time. He sits me down and tells me that the reason this is hanging on is because of some kind of CANCER!!! OMG What....I was shocked, scared, confused, so many things...Mostly Scared! He sent me to the ER (because it was sat.) to have blood taken from her arm to run test. So hard to see...she talked to the nurse until she stuck her with the needle and took blood from her arm...3 test tube of blood. Then My bee gave the nurse dirty looks until falling into my arms asleep. We let everyone Know what was going on and started asking for prayers as we wait to see what we where facing.

One of the Worst day of our lives...told she had Cancer

After getting home from the ER

Test came back Neg....Yeah!!! No Cancer...but what now....So still had not come off of changed another burning and they ran some more test and yes 4 more test tubes of blood one mad baby, sad mommy and her falling right asleep in my arm. All came back neg. They tried again burned and blood test this time for Cancer of the white blood cells meaning Lupus or Lucimia...Crud we where devastated yet again. Prayers kept coming in from everywhere in Abilene, Amarillo, Alabama and more....She was still the same baby but our hearts where heavy and we tried to live life from day to day between doc. visits as normally as possible. One thing that was hurting me was the thought of losing her after trying so hard to get her, keep her and bring her home safely. Again Neg.!!! Yes we are so happy next step was a sonogram to see if the inside was healed so we could have it removed by surgery. Not something we wanted but so much better than Cancer!!!! We would take it. She had the Sonogram and the call came a week later. Now 2 1/2 months old. The doc. was quite and sad...tells that there is a cyst under the cord. WHAT!!! He told me that he already had an apt. for us a Cooks Children's Hospital with a surgeon to see what they could do for her...have me all the the things I needed to do and apt time ect....I walked out of the store we where in and just cried and cried. My baby, My perfect baby had a cyst and yet again for the 3rd time we where facing to possibility of Cancer. Such a dirty little word and it had come up so many time the last few weeks. Here we go....Then one of the most amazing things happen the day before we went to Dallas Her cord just decided (by God's hand and the prayer poring in) to fall off on it own! Yes one surgery we would not have to do. It was Closed and she had a beautiful belly button!

2 1/2 months old Wonderful things happened!!!

Her beautiful Belly Button!!! Thank you Lord

Yes finally got to have her first bath and all of us helped and watched

She loved it and we loved it too!!!

So after this we headed off to Dallas with a fresh smelling little girl and a beautiful belly button to show off too. We saw the doc. and he was so happy that the cord was off looked her over, pushed on her and then explained the things we where looking at. First off surgery if the cyst was bigger in a month...yes we had to yet again wait another month...OH MY i was tired of waiting. Then said that he did not think it was Cancer but it could not be ruled out of coarse...we off we went home to watch and wait til we had to head back out to Dallas to see the sweetest set of doc. While waiting Easter came and we again made it as normal as we could for the family. We did so much to keep things normal for the other two kids and to spend time as a family like this. They could feel the stress but we tried.

Easter Sunday 2010

trip to Amarillo and the discovery Center with Family

The month had finally passed and off we went to stay with Tryon's Brother and Sister-in-law in Dallas. We where all scared and the first thing was another sonogram Friday morning to see how the cyst looked. Than later that afternoon an apt. with the doc to see where we go from there. The Cooks hospital was amazing and we loved everyone there and the care she was give during her test. Such and amazing thing they do for parents and families. Also her doc was amazing...normal predations need to learn from them really....Anyways we killed time between the apt. by shopping and eating close by. Then the moment of truth....we went in did not have undress her so I was thing oh God this could be great news or this could mean we need to admit her now....Crud right. He came in and told us the best news of my life...THE CYST WENT AWAY ON IT OWN!!!! The you God and tears of joy where in my eyes and Tryon's too. The nightmare was over thanks to the power of prayer and the hand of God our baby was the healthy baby we prayed for from the beginning! We called everyone with the news and went to Nikki and Timbers with humble joyful hearts!!!!

Touched by God!!!! On the way back from Cooks that Friday!!!!

The next day we celebrated by taking the kids to the Fort Worth Zoo...It was a wonderful day and so wonderful to spend real time not tainted with stress and worry!

3 healthy kids!!!!

She is an angel touched by so many prayers and God.

Today she is 20 months and still the joy of our life. It is so sad to see how close we came to living a long nightmare but it is wonderful to see God's work in person too. She is a silly little almost 2 year old and you would never know the troubles she had to face. We love her so and thank God for the healing he did in her life!